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in order to placate the the nay sayers, and the supreme court judges, i am posting a few pics of my non-intelligent design holiday. i failed to get a picture of myself with my new tin foil cap. sorry.
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his
dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong
place."
So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is
let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of
comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After
awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators,
and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan
replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and
flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer
is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Here it is, and very nice. I won this for being the worlds greatest Dad
& Grandpa, or, because I followed directions and went out and
multiplied, or, I earned it answering a survey.
In any event, there are only twenty t-shirts given out like this one,
whats the chances of me running into one of the other 19? Anyway, kay looks ready to multiply and replenish the earth, so guess I'll let her wear it a little. ;O)
Lashaye is wondering if she would like multiply? >
A
WOMAN DRIVER
A driver did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk even
though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the
intersection.
The tailgating woman behind him went ballistic, pounding on
her horn and screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to drive
though the intersection with him. Still in mid- rant, she heard a tap on her
window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The
policeman ordered her out of her car with her hands up in the air. He then
handcuffed her, took her to the police station where she was searched,
fingerprinted, photographed and placed in a holding cell.
After a
couple of hours, another policeman approached her cell, opened the door and let
her out. He escorted her back to the booking desk where the arresting
officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said to her, "I'm
very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you
were blowing your horn and flipping the guy off in front of you and cussing a
blue streak at him. It was then I noticed the "Choose Life" license plate
holder, the "What would Jesus Do" bumper sticker, the "Follow me to Sunday
School" bumper sticker and the chrome plated Christain Fish emblem on the
trunk."
says i won't have to use html tags anymore. I don't see a link or icon though..
well its pretty neat though. photos up to 3, no h-ref tags. also can view & edit source if you want. I see it also changes all the text in all my journal & reviews to red when I put this on my home page All fixed now, thanks to service@multiply.
Budapest - Blonde jokes are set to be banned in Hungary after a group of women staged an angry demonstration outside parliament.
The protesters handed in a petition claiming they were being discriminated against in every walk of life by bad taste blonde jokes.
Their spokesperson Zsuzsa Kovacs said: "Blondes face discrimination in the job market, in the workplace and even on the streets."
"People are banned from discriminating against Jews, or blacks, so why not grant blondes the same protection?"
The petition, handed to the Equal Opportunities minister Kinga Goncz, was just short of the 100 000 needed to force parliament to debate the matter. But Goncz's deputy pledged that the government would act to stop any discrimination.
Blondes - real and bleached - waved banners outside the ministry with slogans like "We're blonde, not stupid" and "Love us for our minds".
Things are a little slow around here so I thought I'd try and start a new thread and humor you guys.
A lady died and went to heaven. The first nite there, Jesus opened a can of tuna, and broke some unleavened bread, and they enjoyed their supper in silence. The second nite Jesus opened a can of tuna and broke some unleavened bread, and they ate their meal in silence. The third nite as Jesus opened a can of tuna, the lady could clearly see down through the floorboards at the people in hell. They were bar-b-queing steaks, roasting chicken and having shish-ka-bobs, along with the finest red wines. The forth nite as Jesus prepared to open yet another can of tuna, the lady spoke up and asked, "Jesus? I don't mean to complain, but why do we always have tuna, when those people are having steaks all the time?" Jesus thought for a moment and said, "Well, it just doesn't make any sense to cook for just two people".
Three guys went to the stadium to watch the Cincinnati reds ballgame. They brought beer and chips and thought they'd raise a whole lotta noise because they had second row seats. When they got to their seats, they noticed that directly in front of them were seated three nuns. They decided to badger them a little so that they would move. The first guy says, "I think I'll move to Colorado because they only have 100 catholics there." The second guy pipes in and says, "I think I'll move to New Mexico because they only have 50 catholics there." The third guy says, "well, I think I'll move to Utah because they only have 25 catholics there." The three nuns turn around and say," why don't you three guys go to hell, because they don't have any catholics there!"
How many charismatics does it take to change a lightbulb? Any one of them, cause they already have thier hands in the air. :o)
I have just passed another milestone, my ninth year anniversary on my
present job. There was no fanfare, no bells, whistles, or confetti, not
even an acknowledgment of a goal seldom reached in the notoriously
revolving door of the hospitality business.
In my young and restless days, I would have strongly considered moving on
after five, so, how did this happen? Maturity, you say? Complacency?
Losing sight of a vision of always moving up and onward? I can tell you
now, those restless feelings are still there, but somehow, somewhere,
they are reshuffled to the back of the deck, to make room for the
different hand that has, more recently, been dealt. Impulse gives way
to reason, and desire yields to necessity.
If there is one bit of advice I have for the new generation, it is to make the most of the
spontaneity and vigor with which you envision life's challenges and
crossroads, for these are the moments that will define you as you
approach that "oh, so far off middle age".
Seldom is life so generous as to give you that second chance, which is in us all, to
start anew, and if by circumstance we do, we are not the same. There is
no fearless desire to run naked through the woods (although I've done
it a time or two at far, far, too old), there is no expediency to being
number one in the crowd. There is no longer "Me" and "Now". There is
however a different kind of boldness. I am not afraid of things that go
bump in the night. No longer do I fear hunger, or illness, or
unemployment, nor despair, because I have been visited by all these
things, and I have endured, and I know there will be tomorrow.
With our increasing age comes our greatest strength, and this is experience,
and the wisdom to pass it along to our children, and to theirs. In this
day and age there are many who may contemplate that there is no God,
or, there must be many Gods, but now, more than ever, I can fervently
say, and without a doubt, God bless my children, and keep them from
harms way, for where I lead them, they will follow.
-----byron c.
The
direst foe of courage is the fear itself, not the object of it, and the
man who can overcome his own terror is a hero and more.
- -- George MacDonald
"Go placidly amid the noise & haste & remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly & clearly; and listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud & aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain & bitter; for always there will be greater & lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not fein affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity & disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue & loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a Child of the Universe, no less than the trees & the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." -Max Ehrmann ["Desiderata"]
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well its pretty neat though. photos up to 3, no h-ref tags.
also can view & edit source if you want. I see it also changes all the text in all my journal & reviews to red when I put this on my home page
All fixed now, thanks to service@multiply.
